Tiana Sakr
Getting the facts to help women make an informed decision in pregnancy.
I Just Needed To See My Baby
- Font size: Larger Smaller
- Hits: 20974
- 454 Comments
- Bookmark
Our baby girl was conceived summer of 2013. Our 2nd baby. We thought, wow. Our first baby – a boy. Second baby – a girl. I made it a point to keep myself active by keeping up with our 20-month old’s playgroups, etc. regardless of how heavily pregnant I got. It was the only way I could get exercise and I promised that this pregnancy won’t compromise our toddler’s activities.
But then, on my 6th month of pregnancy, anxiety slowly crept in. Countless questions started to drown me. A baby girl? How do you take care of a baby girl? I seem to have been able to manage with a boy, but that’s just one child - but with 2 children? And a girl? How? I tried to draw in childhood memories but none of them consoled me: authoritarian parents, physical work, smacking, not enough cuddles/kisses, siblings I barely knew because we were torn apart, my eldest sister having an unplanned pregnancy and eloping with boyfriend, etc.
My toddler’s Health Visitor seemed to know our family quite well. And so, at one of his appointments, she asked me, “How are you mum?” And I thought, “I have no one to talk to. I have to tell her. Now. I broke down. I told her that I wasn’t very happy. That, I was burdened with worries. That, I didn’t know how to take care of a baby girl. She was genuinely sympathetic and tried to raise my self-esteem. At the same time, she tried to dig a little into my story. She said that she can refer me for mental health support – but she kindly asked me if I would like her to handle my case and conduct the first assessment. I agreed.
After a week, she popped by our flat and we had a little chat about my family history, my childhood, my husband, and how I was managing with a toddler whilst heavily pregnant. Going through the details with her was impossible without crying. She was with us for an hour and perfectly understood why I felt that way and quickly decided to refer me to a clinical psychologist (CP).
Probably on the same week, at our toddler’s bi-weekly playgroup, one of the children’s centre staff approached me and asked me how I am and the baby. I related to her what I’ve been going through and the home visit that we have just had. She quickly told me that she can get help for me and asked me to stay for a bit after the playgroup so she can fill-out a referral form for me. I received a call from Compass Wellbeing UK after about a week or so. I was told that I would be seen by a CP. I went through an assessment with the CP and she scheduled me for weekly counselling (about an hour each) until I felt that I no longer needed it.
Early February 2014, I called my CP and told her that I won’t be able to attend the sessions anymore as I was already having difficulty moving around. She was very supportive and said to call her back whenever I felt the need to see her. The sessions with the CP were difficult as I had to unload my feelings every time. But each session taught me how to handle my emotions, gave more clarity to who I am, and the future of our new baby.
Here are some of the very important pointers that I got from her:
1. As a new parent / every pregnancy can bring back childhood memories. Both the good and the bad.
2. Do not put undue pressure on yourself and expect to bond with your baby after birthing. For some mothers, this is a slow process – but is still considered normal.
3. Your child’s life will be completely different from yours.
4. Give yourself some credit.
5. Try and sit with someone you trust, e.g. husband, partner or friend, and talk more about your feelings.
6. Go out and join groups, e.g. parenting groups / playgroups, and make new friends.
Through the advocacy of my Birth Doula (I found her through Doula UK), the consultant agreed to perform a Natural Caesarean (ironically, this was also an Emergency C-Section as baby did not engage and was swimming in three litres of water). As soon as the medical staff brought the curtain down, I burst into tears. There she was, my lovely baby girl. A few days after I gave birth, I called my CP to update her and told her, “I just needed to see my baby.”
Comments
-
-
Monday, 24 February 2020
This is cool post and I appreciate to peruse this post. your blog is phenomenal and you have great staff in your blog. pleasant sharing keep it up. Tramadol for sale
-
Monday, 24 February 2020
This is cool post and I appreciate to peruse this post. your blog is phenomenal and you have great staff in your blog. pleasant sharing keep it up. Tramadol for sale
-
Monday, 24 February 2020
This is cool post and I appreciate to peruse this post. your blog is phenomenal and you have great staff in your blog. pleasant sharing keep it up. Tramadol for sale
-
Tuesday, 25 February 2020
This is cool post and I appreciate to peruse this post. your blog is phenomenal and you have great staff in your blog. pleasant sharing keep it up. Krispen Culbertson
-
Tuesday, 25 February 2020
Magnificent survey, I am a noteworthy aficionado to commenting on web diaries to instruct the web diary researchers understand that they've added something advantageous to the web!.. english class singapore
-
Tuesday, 25 February 2020
Great info! I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don’t know what to say except that I have. homestay melaka with swimming pool
-
Thursday, 27 February 2020
Thanks for the update you have nicely covered this topic. keep it up tree removal margate
-
Friday, 28 February 2020
I really like the fresh perpective you did on the issue. I will be back soon to check up on new posts! Thank you! kitchen & bath atlanta ga
-
Monday, 02 March 2020
There are certainly a lot of details like that to take into consideration. tree removal services golden glades
-
Monday, 02 March 2020
I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article. I am hoping the same best work from you in the future as well..
amazonpakistan -
Tuesday, 03 March 2020
wow so lovely decorations, table are greatly decorated. remodeling contractors port st lucie fl
-
Tuesday, 03 March 2020
To ensure this doesn't transpire, consistently utilize the focus spout that accompanies your hair dryer (which additionally enables battle to frizz) and give yourself enough space. "There ought to be about a large portion of an inch between the brush with the hair and the nose of the dryer concentrator," he says. Revlon Hair Dryer Brush
-
Thursday, 05 March 2020
Keep up with the good work.
[url=https://www.southcoastentertainmentma.com/Wedding DJ South Coast[/url] -
Thursday, 05 March 2020
good work
Wedding DJ South Coast -
Thursday, 05 March 2020
Thank you for the helpful post. I found your blog with Google and I will start following. Hope to see new blogs soon. commercial dumpster rental des moines
-
Friday, 06 March 2020
Nice post! This is a very nice blog that I will definitively come back to more times this year! Thanks for informative post.
Sharpening Dental Instruments -
Saturday, 07 March 2020
Congratulations, I think it is amazing how you've connected to so many people across the world! I feel privileged to witness how much you give to others despite being limited septic tank installation greensboro
-
Sunday, 08 March 2020
This was really an interesting topic and I kinda agree with what you have mentioned here!
prize bonds
Appreciate it very much intended for publishing this kind of fascinating article on this matter. It has definitely created me personally believe as well as I'm hoping to learn to read much more.
http://www.mobilexpress-fix.com/phone-repair-in-strongsville/