Tiana Sakr

Getting the facts to help women make an informed decision in pregnancy.

  • Home
    Home This is where you can find all the blog posts throughout the site.
  • Categories
    Categories Displays a list of categories from this blog.
  • Tags
    Tags Displays a list of tags that have been used in the blog.
  • Bloggers
    Bloggers Search for your favorite blogger from this site.
  • Team Blogs
    Team Blogs Find your favorite team blogs here.
  • Archives
    Archives Contains a list of blog posts that were created previously.
  • Login
    Login Login form

I Just Needed To See My Baby

Posted by on in Problems In Pregnancy
  • Font size: Larger Smaller
  • Hits: 16126
  • 354 Comments
  • Print

Our baby girl was conceived summer of 2013.  Our 2nd baby.  We thought, wow.  Our first baby – a boy. Second baby – a girl.  I made it a point to keep myself active by keeping up with our 20-month old’s playgroups, etc. regardless of how heavily pregnant I got.  It was the only way I could get exercise and I promised that this pregnancy won’t compromise our toddler’s activities.  

But then, on my 6th month of pregnancy, anxiety slowly crept in.  Countless questions started to drown me.  A baby girl?  How do you take care of a baby girl?  I seem to have been able to manage with a boy, but that’s just one child - but with 2 children?  And a girl?  How?  I tried to draw in childhood memories but none of them consoled me: authoritarian parents, physical work, smacking, not enough cuddles/kisses, siblings I barely knew because we were torn apart, my eldest sister having an unplanned pregnancy and eloping with boyfriend, etc.

My toddler’s Health Visitor seemed to know our family quite well. And so, at one of his appointments, she asked me, “How are you mum?” And I thought, “I have no one to talk to.  I have to tell her.  Now.  I broke down.  I told her that I wasn’t very happy.  That, I was burdened with worries.  That, I didn’t know how to take care of a baby girl.  She was genuinely sympathetic and tried to raise my self-esteem.  At the same time, she tried to dig a little into my story.  She said that she can refer me for mental health support – but she kindly asked me if I would like her to handle my case and conduct the first assessment.  I agreed.

After a week, she popped by our flat and we had a little chat about my family history, my childhood, my husband, and how I was managing with a toddler whilst heavily pregnant.  Going through the details with her was impossible without crying.  She was with us for an hour and perfectly understood why I felt that way and quickly decided to refer me to a clinical psychologist (CP).

Probably on the same week, at our toddler’s bi-weekly playgroup, one of the children’s centre staff approached me and asked me how I am and the baby.  I related to her what I’ve been going through and the home visit that we have just had.  She quickly told me that she can get help for me and asked me to stay for a bit after the playgroup so she can fill-out a referral form for me.  I received a call from Compass Wellbeing UK after about a week or so.  I was told that I would be seen by a CP.  I went through an assessment with the CP and she scheduled me for weekly counselling (about an hour each) until I felt that I no longer needed it.  

Early February 2014, I called my CP and told her that I won’t be able to attend the sessions anymore as I was already having difficulty moving around.  She was very supportive and said to call her back whenever I felt the need to see her.  The sessions with the CP were difficult as I had to unload my feelings every time.  But each session taught me how to handle my emotions, gave more clarity to who I am, and the future of our new baby.  

Here are some of the very important pointers that I got from her:

1. As a new parent / every pregnancy can bring back childhood memories. Both the good and the bad.

2. Do not put undue pressure on yourself and expect to bond with your baby after birthing. For some mothers, this is a slow process – but is still considered normal.

3. Your child’s life will be completely different from yours.

4. Give yourself some credit.

5. Try and sit with someone you trust, e.g. husband, partner or friend, and talk more about your feelings.

6. Go out and join groups, e.g. parenting groups / playgroups, and make new friends.

Through the advocacy of my Birth Doula (I found her through Doula UK), the consultant agreed to perform a Natural Caesarean (ironically, this was also an Emergency C-Section as baby did not engage and was swimming in three litres of water). As soon as the medical staff brought the curtain down, I burst into tears. There she was, my lovely baby girl.  A few days after I gave birth, I called my CP to update her and told her, “I just needed to see my baby.”

Rate this blog entry:
2

Tiana is CEO of Women and Babies Support (WOMBS) International Ltd and a mother of five, who writes about human development, pregnancy, abortion and related issues. She tweets at @wombs_intl and welcomes discussions on these important topics which affect so many women and their babies.

Comments

  • Guest
    USELESS WEBSITES SHOP Thursday, 09 January 2020

    Home Page

  • Guest
    list Thursday, 09 January 2020

    fgs
    ;)

  • Guest
    fasdfas Thursday, 09 January 2020
  • Guest
    THome Thursday, 09 January 2020
  • Guest
    Backlinks Friday, 10 January 2020

    This is my first time visit to your blog and I am very interested in the articles that you serve. Provide enough knowledge for me. Thank you for sharing useful and don't forget, keep sharing useful info: pineapple tart container

  • Guest
    Backlinks Monday, 13 January 2020

    My companion referenced to me your blog, so I thought I'd read it for myself. Interesting experiences, will be back for additional! USA Flag Tank Tops

  • Guest
    Backlinks Monday, 13 January 2020

    My companion referenced to me your blog, so I thought I'd read it for myself. Interesting experiences, will be back for additional! USA Flag Tank Tops

  • Guest
    Backlinks Tuesday, 14 January 2020

    A debt of gratitude is in order for an extremely intriguing online journal. What else may I get that sort of data written in such an ideal methodology? singapore cystic acne treatment

  • Guest
    Mike Wednesday, 15 January 2020

    Good.
    arsal

  • Guest
    Zee Wednesday, 15 January 2020
  • Guest
    Salt Milson Wednesday, 15 January 2020

    Excellent article, everyone likes this article because fully informative and quality. emergency tree services boca raton

  • Guest
    Backlinks Wednesday, 15 January 2020

    I'm continually scanning on the web for posts that will support me. An excess of is obviously to find out about this. I trust you made great quality things in Functions too. Continue working, congratulations! definisi emiten

  • Guest
    BioVirexagen Thursday, 16 January 2020

    In an investigation directed on Drosophila melanogaster 3 flies , this compound added to their eating routine could hinder their maturing procedure . BioVirexagen

  • Guest
    BioVirexagen Thursday, 16 January 2020

    Another investigation affirms less harm connected to maturing (and along these lines a more drawn out life expectancy) for worms, mice and even human safe cells refined in vitro. 4 BioVirexagen

  • Guest
    Backlinks Thursday, 16 January 2020

    I'm constantly searching on the internet for posts that will help me. Too much is clearly to learn about this. I believe you created good quality items in Functions also. Keep working, congrats! Movers from Boston to New York

  • Guest
    Backlinks Thursday, 16 January 2020

    It was an awesome post to be sure. I completely delighted in understanding it in my noon. Will without a doubt come and visit this blog all the more frequently. A debt of gratitude is in order for sharing. social media customer service article

  • Guest
    Backlinks Friday, 17 January 2020

    I respect this article for the very much investigated substance and magnificent wording. I got so included in this material that I couldn't quit perusing. I am awed with your work and aptitude. Much obliged to you to such an extent. 안전토토

  • Guest
    Backlinks Sunday, 19 January 2020

    I regard this article for the especially researched substance and sublime wording. I got so incorporated into this material that I couldn't stop examining. I am awed with your work and bent. Thankful to you to such a degree. mr eazi pour me water

  • Guest
    Backlinks Thursday, 23 January 2020

    The website is looking bit flashy and it catches the visitors eyes. Design is pretty simple and a good user friendly interface. Milwaukee SEO

  • Guest
    dany Thursday, 23 January 2020

    Simply appreciating your work and thinking about how you dealt with this blog so well. It's striking to such an extent that I can't stand to not experience this important data at whatever point I surf the web! custom patches

Leave your comment

Guest Thursday, 06 August 2020
Go to top