Tiana Sakr
Getting the facts to help women make an informed decision in pregnancy.
I Just Needed To See My Baby
- Font size: Larger Smaller
- Hits: 16121
- 354 Comments
- Bookmark
Our baby girl was conceived summer of 2013. Our 2nd baby. We thought, wow. Our first baby – a boy. Second baby – a girl. I made it a point to keep myself active by keeping up with our 20-month old’s playgroups, etc. regardless of how heavily pregnant I got. It was the only way I could get exercise and I promised that this pregnancy won’t compromise our toddler’s activities.
But then, on my 6th month of pregnancy, anxiety slowly crept in. Countless questions started to drown me. A baby girl? How do you take care of a baby girl? I seem to have been able to manage with a boy, but that’s just one child - but with 2 children? And a girl? How? I tried to draw in childhood memories but none of them consoled me: authoritarian parents, physical work, smacking, not enough cuddles/kisses, siblings I barely knew because we were torn apart, my eldest sister having an unplanned pregnancy and eloping with boyfriend, etc.
My toddler’s Health Visitor seemed to know our family quite well. And so, at one of his appointments, she asked me, “How are you mum?” And I thought, “I have no one to talk to. I have to tell her. Now. I broke down. I told her that I wasn’t very happy. That, I was burdened with worries. That, I didn’t know how to take care of a baby girl. She was genuinely sympathetic and tried to raise my self-esteem. At the same time, she tried to dig a little into my story. She said that she can refer me for mental health support – but she kindly asked me if I would like her to handle my case and conduct the first assessment. I agreed.
After a week, she popped by our flat and we had a little chat about my family history, my childhood, my husband, and how I was managing with a toddler whilst heavily pregnant. Going through the details with her was impossible without crying. She was with us for an hour and perfectly understood why I felt that way and quickly decided to refer me to a clinical psychologist (CP).
Probably on the same week, at our toddler’s bi-weekly playgroup, one of the children’s centre staff approached me and asked me how I am and the baby. I related to her what I’ve been going through and the home visit that we have just had. She quickly told me that she can get help for me and asked me to stay for a bit after the playgroup so she can fill-out a referral form for me. I received a call from Compass Wellbeing UK after about a week or so. I was told that I would be seen by a CP. I went through an assessment with the CP and she scheduled me for weekly counselling (about an hour each) until I felt that I no longer needed it.
Early February 2014, I called my CP and told her that I won’t be able to attend the sessions anymore as I was already having difficulty moving around. She was very supportive and said to call her back whenever I felt the need to see her. The sessions with the CP were difficult as I had to unload my feelings every time. But each session taught me how to handle my emotions, gave more clarity to who I am, and the future of our new baby.
Here are some of the very important pointers that I got from her:
1. As a new parent / every pregnancy can bring back childhood memories. Both the good and the bad.
2. Do not put undue pressure on yourself and expect to bond with your baby after birthing. For some mothers, this is a slow process – but is still considered normal.
3. Your child’s life will be completely different from yours.
4. Give yourself some credit.
5. Try and sit with someone you trust, e.g. husband, partner or friend, and talk more about your feelings.
6. Go out and join groups, e.g. parenting groups / playgroups, and make new friends.
Through the advocacy of my Birth Doula (I found her through Doula UK), the consultant agreed to perform a Natural Caesarean (ironically, this was also an Emergency C-Section as baby did not engage and was swimming in three litres of water). As soon as the medical staff brought the curtain down, I burst into tears. There she was, my lovely baby girl. A few days after I gave birth, I called my CP to update her and told her, “I just needed to see my baby.”
Comments
-
Monday, 25 November 2019I am very enjoyed for this blog. Its an informative topic. It help me very much to solve some problems. Its opportunity are so fantastic and working style so speedy. Construction
-
Monday, 25 November 2019
This is also a very good post which I really enjoyed reading. It is not every day that I have the possibility to see something like this.. Construction
-
Monday, 25 November 2019
Really impressed! Everything is very open and very clear clarification of issues. It contains truly facts. Your website is very valuable. Thanks for sharing. Construction
-
Monday, 25 November 2019
Really impressed! Everything is very open and very clear clarification of issues. It contains truly facts. Your website is very valuable. Thanks for sharing. Construction
-
Monday, 25 November 2019
The material and aggregation is excellent and telltale as comfortably. Construction
-
Tuesday, 26 November 2019
Yes, I am entirely agreed with this article, and I just want say that this article is very helpful and enlightening. I also have some precious piece of concerned info !!!!!!Thanks. Buy PVA Gmail Accounts
-
Tuesday, 03 December 2019
bookmarking and checking back frequently!it people processing it really is another person's renowned company, you will never in the world of the 55 and other lavishness brands supra to uncover which.. avenue south residence
-
Friday, 06 December 2019
There are plenty of dissertation website pages through the internet whenever you gain seemingly taken into account in your ınternet site. 카지노사이트
-
Monday, 09 December 2019
Superbly written article, if only all bloggers offered the same content as you, the internet would be a far better place.. $500 loan same day from mmPaydayLoans
-
Wednesday, 11 December 2019
Well we really like to visit this site, many useful information we can get here.
mmPersonalLoans offer instant loans -
Saturday, 21 December 2019
You finished certain dependable focuses there. I did an inquiry regarding the matter and found about all people will concur with your blog. Onsite Technical Support
-
Saturday, 21 December 2019
Much appreciated for sharing us about this update. Expectation you won't get worn out on making posts as educational as this. where do goldfish live in the wild
-
Monday, 23 December 2019
This is a shrewd blog. I would not joke about this. You have such a great amount of information about this issue, thus much enthusiasm. You likewise realize how to make individuals rally behind it, clearly from the reactions. funeral services singapore
-
Monday, 30 December 2019
This is really great work. Thank you for sharing such a good and useful information here in the blog for students. Video downloader Online
-
Monday, 30 December 2019
Looking incredible work dear, I truly refreshing to you on this quality work. Pleasant post!! these tips may help me for future. eHealtHow
-
Friday, 03 January 2020
I'm continually scanning on the web for posts that will support me. An excess of is obviously to find out about this. I trust you made great quality things in Functions too. Continue working, congratulations! photo editing for product photographers
-
Saturday, 04 January 2020
I'm continually scanning on the web for posts that will support me. An excess of is obviously to find out about this. I trust you made great quality things in Functions too. Continue working, congratulations! Christchurch carpet cleaning
-
Monday, 06 January 2020
Personally, I have found that to remain probably the most fascinating topics when it draws a parallel to. You may find two to three new levels inside L . a . Weight loss and any one someone is incredibly important. Initial stage may be real melting away rrn the body. lose weight 토토사이트
-
Thursday, 09 January 2020
Personally, I have found that to remain probably the most fascinating topics when it draws a parallel to. You may find two to three new levels inside L . a . Weight loss and any one someone is incredibly important. Initial stage may be real melting away rrn the body. lose weight blog comment
it's really cool blog. Linking is very useful thing.you have really helped Construction