Tiana Sakr

Getting the facts to help women make an informed decision in pregnancy.

  • Home
    Home This is where you can find all the blog posts throughout the site.
  • Categories
    Categories Displays a list of categories from this blog.
  • Tags
    Tags Displays a list of tags that have been used in the blog.
  • Bloggers
    Bloggers Search for your favorite blogger from this site.
  • Team Blogs
    Team Blogs Find your favorite team blogs here.
  • Archives
    Archives Contains a list of blog posts that were created previously.
  • Login
    Login Login form

I Just Needed To See My Baby

Posted by on in Problems In Pregnancy
  • Font size: Larger Smaller
  • Hits: 10128
  • 88 Comments
  • Print

Our baby girl was conceived summer of 2013.  Our 2nd baby.  We thought, wow.  Our first baby – a boy. Second baby – a girl.  I made it a point to keep myself active by keeping up with our 20-month old’s playgroups, etc. regardless of how heavily pregnant I got.  It was the only way I could get exercise and I promised that this pregnancy won’t compromise our toddler’s activities.  

But then, on my 6th month of pregnancy, anxiety slowly crept in.  Countless questions started to drown me.  A baby girl?  How do you take care of a baby girl?  I seem to have been able to manage with a boy, but that’s just one child - but with 2 children?  And a girl?  How?  I tried to draw in childhood memories but none of them consoled me: authoritarian parents, physical work, smacking, not enough cuddles/kisses, siblings I barely knew because we were torn apart, my eldest sister having an unplanned pregnancy and eloping with boyfriend, etc.

My toddler’s Health Visitor seemed to know our family quite well. And so, at one of his appointments, she asked me, “How are you mum?” And I thought, “I have no one to talk to.  I have to tell her.  Now.  I broke down.  I told her that I wasn’t very happy.  That, I was burdened with worries.  That, I didn’t know how to take care of a baby girl.  She was genuinely sympathetic and tried to raise my self-esteem.  At the same time, she tried to dig a little into my story.  She said that she can refer me for mental health support – but she kindly asked me if I would like her to handle my case and conduct the first assessment.  I agreed.

After a week, she popped by our flat and we had a little chat about my family history, my childhood, my husband, and how I was managing with a toddler whilst heavily pregnant.  Going through the details with her was impossible without crying.  She was with us for an hour and perfectly understood why I felt that way and quickly decided to refer me to a clinical psychologist (CP).

Probably on the same week, at our toddler’s bi-weekly playgroup, one of the children’s centre staff approached me and asked me how I am and the baby.  I related to her what I’ve been going through and the home visit that we have just had.  She quickly told me that she can get help for me and asked me to stay for a bit after the playgroup so she can fill-out a referral form for me.  I received a call from Compass Wellbeing UK after about a week or so.  I was told that I would be seen by a CP.  I went through an assessment with the CP and she scheduled me for weekly counselling (about an hour each) until I felt that I no longer needed it.  

Early February 2014, I called my CP and told her that I won’t be able to attend the sessions anymore as I was already having difficulty moving around.  She was very supportive and said to call her back whenever I felt the need to see her.  The sessions with the CP were difficult as I had to unload my feelings every time.  But each session taught me how to handle my emotions, gave more clarity to who I am, and the future of our new baby.  

Here are some of the very important pointers that I got from her:

1. As a new parent / every pregnancy can bring back childhood memories. Both the good and the bad.

2. Do not put undue pressure on yourself and expect to bond with your baby after birthing. For some mothers, this is a slow process – but is still considered normal.

3. Your child’s life will be completely different from yours.

4. Give yourself some credit.

5. Try and sit with someone you trust, e.g. husband, partner or friend, and talk more about your feelings.

6. Go out and join groups, e.g. parenting groups / playgroups, and make new friends.

Through the advocacy of my Birth Doula (I found her through Doula UK), the consultant agreed to perform a Natural Caesarean (ironically, this was also an Emergency C-Section as baby did not engage and was swimming in three litres of water). As soon as the medical staff brought the curtain down, I burst into tears. There she was, my lovely baby girl.  A few days after I gave birth, I called my CP to update her and told her, “I just needed to see my baby.”

Rate this blog entry:
2

Tiana is CEO of Women and Babies Support (WOMBS) International Ltd and a mother of five, who writes about human development, pregnancy, abortion and related issues. She tweets at @wombs_intl and welcomes discussions on these important topics which affect so many women and their babies.

Comments

  • Guest
    Alecia Monday, 15 May 2017

    I am Alecia,from what I can read. It has been sad news and scam to everyone about Voodoo casters or so. But to me they are so real cause one worked for me not quite long ago.i met this man on a blog his name is Dr Abalaka is a very powerful man.I traveled down to where his shrine his and we both did the ritual and sacrifice.he had no website yet but he promised to create one as costumers are requesting for it, and now i'm free from the powders of sickness.I don't know about you but Voodoo is real;love marriage,finance, job promotion ,lottery Voodoo,poker voodoo,golf Voodoo,Law & Court case Spells,money voodoo,weigh loss voodoo,diabetic voodoo,hypertensive voodoo,high cholesterol voodoo,Trouble in marriage,Barrenness(need a child),Luck, Money Spells,he also cure any cancer and HIV,it's all he does. I used my money to purchase everything he used he never collected a dime from. He told me I can repay him anytime with anything from my heart. Now I don't know how to do that. If you can help or you need his help write him on (dr.abalaka@outlook.com) and also his cell number: 760-935-3804 you can text him because he use to be very busy some times,i believe that your story will change for better,or if you have any question you can contact me here as 1001madonado@gmail.com best of luck.

  • Guest
    thoomasjenkin Saturday, 11 August 2018

    Great article. Definitely makes it really intuitive with minor investment of common sense. Design thinking is the key here prior to doing something in rush.Great site and a great topic as well i really get amazed to read this.Most of the people want this and you helped all of us.Thanks a lot for sharing and take your valuable time to write and share your thoughts.[URL=https://writeversity.com/]Thesis writing service [/url] able to provide you with the writing help you have been looking for also get result in any time Good to know about it.It is really informative.Keep sharing post like this. I am impressed with your site’s blog.

  • Guest
    Oscar Sterne Sunday, 02 December 2018

    Deliberate ending is called the abortion that also very dislikes act in front of the God who made you for this purpose. The abortion in the professional academic writing services company is considered as the sin and the crime also.

  • Guest
    tech Monday, 04 February 2019

    wow, great, I was wondering how to cure acne naturally. and found your site by google, learned a lot, now i’m a bit clear. I’ve bookmark your site and also add rss. keep us updated. tech

  • Guest
    How to Lose Weight Fast Tuesday, 05 February 2019

    Cool you write, the information is very good and interesting, I'll give you a link to my site. How to Lose Weight Fast

  • Guest
    Benefits of Turnips Tuesday, 05 February 2019

    Hi to everybody, here everyone is sharing such knowledge, so it’s fastidious to see this site, and I used to visit this blog daily Benefits of Turnips

  • Guest
    Benefits of Turmeric and Curcumin Tuesday, 05 February 2019

    If you don"t mind proceed with this extraordinary work and I anticipate a greater amount of your magnificent blog entries Benefits of Turmeric and Curcumin

  • Guest
    Salmon Tuesday, 05 February 2019

    I was taking a gander at some of your posts on this site and I consider this site is truly informational! Keep setting up.. Salmon

  • Guest
    Risks of Eating Tofu Tuesday, 05 February 2019

    You have done a great job. I will definitely dig it and personally recommend to my friends. I am confident they will be benefited from this site. Risks of Eating Tofu

  • Guest
    High Fiber Foods Tuesday, 05 February 2019

    It’s very informative and you are obviously very knowledgeable in this area. You have opened my eyes to varying views on this topic with interesting and solid content. High Fiber Foods

  • Guest
    How to Lose Belly Fat For All Body Types Tuesday, 05 February 2019

    I have a mission that I’m just now working on, and I have been at the look out for such information How to Lose Belly Fat For All Body Types

  • Guest
    What is Natto? Tuesday, 05 February 2019

    Great survey. I'm sure you're getting a great response. What is Natto?

  • Guest
    Firehouse Subs Tuesday, 12 February 2019

    I will really appreciate the writer's choice for choosing this excellent article appropriate to my matter.Here is deep description about the article matter which helped me more. Firehouse Subs

  • Guest
    Firehouse Subs Wednesday, 13 February 2019

    I will really appreciate the writer's choice for choosing this excellent article appropriate to my matter.Here is deep description about the article matter which helped me more. Firehouse Subs

  • Guest
    private detective Wednesday, 13 February 2019

    Going to graduate school was a positive decision for me. I enjoyed the coursework, the presentations, the fellow students, and the professors. And since my company reimbursed 100% of the tuition, the only cost that I had to pay on my own was for books and supplies. Otherwise, I received a free master’s degree. All that I had to invest was my time. private detective

  • Guest
    Albrta Saturday, 16 February 2019

    I just want to say I am newbie to weblog and absolutely enjoyed your website. Probably I’m likely to bookmark your blog. You definitely have awesome writings. Cheers for sharing your website.

    chaga pilz kaufen apotheke

  • Guest
    voyance pas cher Sunday, 17 February 2019

    This is really very nice post you shared, i like the post, thanks for sharing.. voyance pas cher

  • Guest
    broken lease apartments houston Sunday, 17 February 2019

    Really impressed! Everything is very open and very clear clarification of issues. It contains truly facts. Your website is very valuable. Thanks for sharing. broken lease apartments houston

  • Guest
    how to register a company in Nigeria Sunday, 17 February 2019

    I am looking for and I love to post a comment that "The content of your post is awesome" Great work! how to register a company in Nigeria

  • Guest
    Webdesign Wednesday, 20 February 2019

    Hi to everybody, here everyone is sharing such knowledge, so it’s fastidious to see this site, and I used to visit this blog daily Webdesign

Leave your comment

Guest Saturday, 24 August 2019
Go to top