Subscribe via RSS

Tiana Sakr

Getting the facts to help women make an informed decision in pregnancy.

  • Home
    Home This is where you can find all the blog posts throughout the site.
  • Categories
    Categories Displays a list of categories from this blog.
  • Tags
    Tags Displays a list of tags that have been used in the blog.
  • Bloggers
    Bloggers Search for your favorite blogger from this site.
  • Team Blogs
    Team Blogs Find your favorite team blogs here.
  • Archives
    Archives Contains a list of blog posts that were created previously.
  • Login
    Login Login form

Emotional Repression

Posted by on in After Abortion
  • Font size: Larger Smaller
  • Hits: 13780
  • 222 Comments
  • Print
Emotional Repression

I am sharing this, because I know so many suffering from this, and have dealt with it myself. You have permission to share if you think others would be touched:

With The Crying

 

All my life, I’ve internalized

Yet I’ve managed to be surprised

When I’m feeling so sick, I can hardly move

Or about to blow a gasket, for the slightest thing.

 

I’ve always felt such pressure

To keep this under wraps

But where the pressure came from

Is not easy to admit.

For you see it came from no one

As badly as from me

Though I’d put the blame on others

Before saying it’s ‘cause of me.

 

There were many rules that I set for myself

Number 1 being I must never cry

Because for some reason that was the absolute worst

Thing that could happen, especially in a group.

 

But with the crying went laughter, and even blinking and yawning,

For those things also brought on the dreaded tears.

I could not speak, out of fear that I would lose it

But then became resentful when no one knew what was wrong.

 

With the crying went so many words and things

I was now put off by Kleenex, even if I had just sneezed

If you asked me ‘are you sad?’ I’d deny it to your face

Even though on the inside, I was in a VERY DARK place.

 

With the crying went my health

Which surprised me quite a bit.

I began to dread going out

For fear that I’d break down.

Whenever I’d feel that horrid lump of emotion in my throat

I’d force it down to be replaced by nausea, reflux and pain.

 

With the crying went relationships and fun

I feared watching movies, for fear that I would cry.

I feared hearing stories that were happy or were sad

For fear of a breakdown which would’ve been so bad.

 

It’s now been past a decade

Since I really let it out.

I’ve got to say at first

I was really proud

To go so long without it,

But now I see I was wrong.

My fear of crying has robbed me and oh so many others

Of oh so very many things, more than listed above.

 

I do not say all must go and cry

But I pray you learn from my great struggles

And at least try not to force it away.

 

 Written by: Susi O Fanabba

Rate this blog entry:
0
Tagged in: anxiety post abortion prochoice prolife psychology

Tiana is CEO of Women and Babies Support (WOMBS) International Ltd and a mother of five, who writes about human development, pregnancy, abortion and related issues. She tweets at @wombs_intl and welcomes discussions on these important topics which affect so many women and their babies.

Author's recent posts

Comments

Leave your comment

Guest Thursday, 06 August 2020
Go to top